Sunday, January 03, 2010
November & December 2009
At this beginning of a New Year, 2010....I do not feel like I am a very good parent! Spencer is having way to many strange behaviors and I often feel it is because of me. I should have the "star" child with Down Syndrome with all the training I have and my profession?? right?? Well, he is completely puzzling me daily with the defiance that he exhibits whenever I ask him to do simple tasks like "come eat Spencer". Instead he heads off in a totally different direction and it's a constant battle to get him to the table. Of course we have to have something at the table with us, whether it is Kasey the Robot, the dvd player, a sock, the computer, you name it. Of course that is our fault for not stopping that day one. I feel like such a failure and wonder how different my child would be if he had a mom that wasn't so high strung, anxious, nervous, constantly talking, constantly watching and constantly wondering what can go wrong?? Sounds like I'm having a pity party, well YES I AM!!! I need something...not sure what, but I need help in this...prayers, thoughts, advice, friends, family, etc....at this point I'll take anything!!!!
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2 comments:
I think moms and teachers are the hardest on themselves (too bad for us since we are both...). We know that we could always do more...you can always be better. With that being said, I am sure you are giving your best each day. Some days we can only give so much. SOOO...let it go! You are a super mom and it shows in so many ways. Let's change the measuring stick...don't use dinner time! :)
Kelly
I've learned that sometimes it doesn't matter how much time and effort you put into something with your child. I always thought Kayla would be one of those kids with Down syndrome who would be able to keep up with her typical peers. Well, that didn't happen. Kayla's five, is nonverbal, basically noncommunicative and functions at the level of an 18 month old. This, in spite of 5 hours of speech, 4 hours of OT, 3 hours of PT, 2 hours of Play therapy since 2 months old, and special developmental preschool from 2 1/2 - 5. I've learned to let it go and just let her BE. Because SHE'S happy and is just moving along at her own pace. Will she get to where **I** want her to be? Maybe, maybe not. And I realize it's not the end of the world if she doesn't get there.
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