Failure!

What can I say....I could give all kinds of excuses for not blogging Fri and Sat, but that's all they are. Everytime I thought about doing it something else came to mind that needed to be done. So here I sit feeling like a failure and that's been alot lately!! I feel I've failed my son by not doing enough to help him in his achievements. Maybe to many movies, to much time on the computer by him and me, to many video games and not enough quality time spend with him and playing with him to help him get where I feel he needs to be. Then I turn a complete 360 and say you know what, I can only do so much! I'm a working mom, trying to make sure Spencer has everything he needs to reach his highest potential and that's all I can do. Guess you could say I'm having a "hormonal" moment, which those are alot these days. Tears at every little thing, every little thought and everytime I read about Down Syndrome I feel I'm on overload. WOW you'd thought at this time in my life I would have come to grips with things, but you know I don't think we as parents of children with a disability every come fully to grips with that fact. We say we do, but we all have those moments where it hits hard! My child will probably never marry, my child since he is the only child, will never be a parent, therefore I'll never be a grandparent.....This hits hard. I don't blame Spencer, it's not his fault by no means, but these thoughts often consume me and I have to step back and look at things again. I do thank GOD for my child with special needs and that we never will have to deal with the peer pressures so called typical children have to go through, I'll never have to deal with drugs and alcohol problems, never have any severe behavior issues in school, he'll always love life to the fullest I'll always be able to play "Santa" at Christmas, Easter Bunny @ Easter and I'll always be able to watch cartoons with my child.....these things are great! I do consider myself very fortunate to have a child with Down Syndrome, because out of all the disabilities, Down Syndrome to me is the one I would have chosen if given a choice.

Well enough of my venting and I hope to be able to blog everyday even though I've missed 2 days, I think I more than made up for it here!